Looking for love in all the wrong places

After spending the weekend in Okaiboma gathering 16mm footage, we're on our way to meet the love doctor of Kumilabwaga, he who holds the spells, rites and stories for love magic. Monday morning bright and early we head out, first to Wawela to pick up our contact, Pogisa. Pogisa's gestalt is the first sign that this trip may not go as smoothly as planned (he's got a macho gait and the size-you-up eyes of a con-artist). The second sign quickly follows when our transport gets a flat tire. But it's quickly changed and we're on our way again, smiling dumbly and ignoring the glaring and telltale omens. Third is a massive tree, fallen in the middle of the road which has to be cleared away with machetes and fourth is our driver dumping us at the path to Kumilabwaga,(That could have easily been driven) for a "1/2 km" hike that is in fact more like 5km, never to return. . .

5km later we emerge from the bush into a village that is straight out of 'Apocalypse Now' or more appropriately, Conrad's 'Heart of Darkness.' This village is the seat of love magic and we're both planning to benefit personally from the knowledge gained in this interview. We're greeted by the Love Dr's supposed son and everything seems to be going as planned, but as the telltale signs foretold, this day was doomed. Pogisa, sheisty !#)(*!#&#, our paid informant does not a thing. He settles down against the post of a resting house into betelnut chewing heaven, oggling the passing women's backsides. The love Dr's son proceeds to tell us that the cost of the story we want to hear, a story already recorded by Malinowski and known by every man, woman & child on the island, will be 200,000 Kina (the equivalent to $65,000). We laugh and come back with the more appropriate sum of 20 Kina ($7). After about 2 hours of waiting and Zach explaining that we're going into debt making this project, the final figure for the love magic story stands at 1000 Kina, about a quarter of the money that we brought with us to the island for our month-long stay. We grab Pogisa out of his betelnut induced stupor and hightale it out of town. As we trudge the 5km back we wonder: have we doomed our love prospects for the rest of our lives? Will we be victims of sorcery? We were recently told to avoid the southern part of the island because witches and sorcerers abound. Oh happy day.

Finally back at Sinaketa, where we expect our driver to be waiting so we can race off and record the funeral events for the chief's niece , the driver is nowwhere to be found. 3 Hours later, the chief's niece safely underground, we're still waiting in Sinaketa. I guess this shouldn't be a surprise, but Kelly's ants in her pants do cause quite a stir. It's times like these where you have to appreciate Mal's work having done this without transport, roads, a good friend from home - was he out of his mind??